


Cancer

by xLenCatx



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cancer, Gen, Sadstuck, is highly likely to split into two potential endings, not completely sure where im going with this, one im sure of and one is still needing some work to know where to go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 10:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLenCatx/pseuds/xLenCatx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider's been living alone with his Bro for all his life, how is he going to cope when everything he's used to is put on hold and the life he's used to put at risk when he's Bro comes home one day with some very unfortunate news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Some Unfortunate News

**Author's Note:**

> ive been meaning to put this up here and to also continue writing this though i have a sever case of writers block on chapter three...
> 
> i hope you enjoy it!

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG]

CG: HEY

CG: ASSHOLE.

TG: hey douche bag

CG: DON

CG: FUCKIN KEYBOARD

CG: DON'T GET ME STARTED,

CG: I WILL BLOW THIS SHIT UP

CG: WITH THE BEST FUCKING INSULTS MONEY COULD OFFER.

TG: you and what explosives?

CG: BUT YOU KNOW, WITHOUT THE MONEY.

CG: NOT LITERALLY, DUMBASS.

CG: HAH.

CG: THAT'S STUPID.

CG: YOU'RE STUPID.

TG: and your the stupidest

TG: do you ever shut up?

CG: DO YOU EVER STOP BEING AN ASS?

CG: I'LL ANSWER THAT FOR YOU

CG: NO.

CG: THE ANSWER IS NO.

TG: haha how fucking original

CG: EVEN THOUGH IT WAS RHETORICAL

CG: I AM, SHUT UP.

CG: I AM SO FUCKING ORIGINAL.

CG: IF YOU REARRANGED THE LETTERS IN MY NAME, YOU COULD SPELL ORIGINAL.

CG: ...

CG: THAT WAS A LIE.

TG: no shit

CG: SHUT UP

CG: I DON'T NEED YOUR JUDGMENT.

CG: BESIDES, I'M WINNING.

TG: so throw something original at me other wise this will just become the same old boring fuckass bullshit you spew out at a non coherent rate

TG: which is so fucking over rated

CG: WOW, ASSHOLE.

TG: winning what?

TG: there is no prize to be won here

CG: THIS TANGO WE DANCE TO CALLED INSULTING EACH OTHER.

CG: SHUSH

CG: I

CG: AM

CG: WINNING.

CG: BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID

CG: AND I HATE YOU.

TG: haha you wish

CG: AND I DID--NOT SHUT UP, I AM WINNING.

CG: YOU'RE JUST BLIND

TG: and i thought you didnt feel that for me?

CG: YOU DON'T SEE THE EP--GOD STOP INTERRUPTING MY TYPING.

TG: or is this a new side of karkat were seeing here

CG: MAYBE I MEANT--OSPOGFDLKGD

CG: STOP THAT

CG: MAYBE I MEANT IT PLATONICALLY.

CG: DOUCHECANOE.

TG: im not interrupting you you just dont stop talking

CG: NO *EVERYONE* WANTS IN YOUR PASS.

CG: PANTS.

CG: NOT

TG: haha just most girls

CG: YEAH

CG: NO.

CG: WHY DOES THAT EVEN MATTER

TG: its the fucking strider charm

CG: GENDER WISE-NESS.

CG: I MEAN, YOU'RE ON A ROCK WITH A BUNCH OF TROLLS.

CG: AND IF WE ALL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING JUNK, THEN YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE GENDER WORRIED

TG: yeah well back home my popularity with girls was amazing

CG: LIKE HELL IT WAS.

TG: they all wanted me

CG: YOU'RE A FUCKING DORK, YOUR GLASSES DO NOTHING.

CG: NO THEY DIDN'T.

CG: I AM NECK DEEP IN THE BULLSHIT YOU ARE CURRENTLY SPILLING.

TG: haha its the strider charm the shades are for irony dipshit

CG: IT'S ALL I SMELL

CG: PFFFFFT.

CG: CHARM?

CG: HELL NO.

CG: WHAT CHARM? BEING AN ASS?

TG: yeah, well obviously you dont understand what your seeing

TG: like most critics of something some cool

turntechGodhead [ TG ] connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

turntechGodhead [ TG ] joined chat.

CG: I'M GOING TO DROWN IN YOUR BULLSHIT, STRIDER.

TG: well i guess if you drown in this so call bullshit of mine at least youll shut up

CG: YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?

CG: TOO BAD I'M NOT GOING TO SHUT UP/

CG: .

TG: and someone else will be able to get a word in edgeways during a normal conversatio

CG: HEY, LOSER, LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE REPLIED.

CG: THIS *IS* A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH PLENTY OF BACK AND FORTH COMMUNICATION.

TG: this isnt a normal conversation idiot

CG: HOW THE HELL ISN'T IT?

 

Dave glanced to the bottom of the active window, and noticed another below. He didn’t check who it was but decided that they would be able to wait for a bit longer while he handed this trolls ass to them. He also didn’t want Karkat thinking that he was getting the better of him, that would have irritated him more.

 

TG: this is you being a douche bag who wont listen and understand when its the right time to drop a fucking subject

CG: NO, SEE?

CG: THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.

CG: I *KNOW* YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT.

CG: SO I'M GOING TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT

CG: BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET PASSED YOUR INCREDIBLY DENSE, FUCKING SKULL.

CG: THIS ALSO PROVES THAT I AM STILL WINNING.

TG: haha oh i hear what youre saying and im just rolling with what happens cause that gets you more rilled up

TG: and the more you get rilled up the funnier this becomes

CG: I AM NOT RILED UP, FUCKWAD.

TG: not yet

CG: SHUT UP, THIS WON'T WORK.

CG: I'LL BE AS CALM AS A FUCKING OCEAN

TG: do did you forget how easy it was with the book incident haha

CG: BUT THE SURFACE OF IT.

CG: SHUT UP!

CG: THAT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE IN MY FUCKING PERSONAL SPACE

CG: DRAWING HUMAN GENITALIA AND BLAMING IT ON ME.

TG: haha and the ocean is never calm theres always some shit moving its ass and riling it up

CG: SHUT UP, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

TG: haha if you say so

CG: WHATEVER, YOU'RE JUST BEING A DICK.

TG: youre always a dick

CG: NO, YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND MY INTENTIONS SO YOU ONLY THINK OF ME AS A DICK LIKE THE OBTUSE FUCK THAT YOU ARE.

CG: BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID.

TG: well yes im obtuse but then itd be worrying if people could see through me

 

Dave decided to look at who had been trying to contact him, getting bored of Karkat’s irritating consistency and unending torrent of abuse.

 

timaeusTestified [ TT ] began pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

TT: Hey, man.

TT: Yes, I know I don't pester you often.

TT: I apologize, but I'm not really sorry.

TT: You ramble a lot when you talk on computers.

TT: Anyway, I was here to tell you something very important, but seeing as you are not here...

TT: It will just have to wait, because I do not wish for you to think I'm joking.

TT: Seriously, dude.

TT: Where the fuck are you?

TT: I mean, I'm sure you're sitting at your computer, or at the very least somewhere in that room.

TT: If you're not, you were in the kitchen making food.

TT: Probably ate the pop-tarts I like.

TT: Or you were in the shower, using up all the hot water.

turntechGodhead [TG] connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat.

TT: Wow, so I know you're there for real now.

TT: You're not just a made up figure on the top of the screen.

TT: You have connected, and you can disconnect.

TT: Which you'd best not do.

TT: Because seriously, Dave I have important shit to tell you.

TT: Or I could just not tell you and reference this conversation in the future.

TT: You'd be pissed though, and I'd rather not some of the last days I might have on this god forsaken planet be with you being butthurt.

TT: Unless that's what you're doing right now.

 

He decided he’d probably let hid Bro hanging on for an answer long enough, and he sounded serious about something so he felt that leaving it longer could incite strife later when he got home from where ever he was.

 

TG: sorry dude, being pestered by some fucking trolls

TT: Okay.

TT: You reading through everything?

TG: just done that man

TG: whats up then?

TT: Cancer is up.

TT: The stomach variety, to be exact.

 

Dave froze. Surely bro was just fucking with him right? This couldn’t be true, how could Bro-no it wasn’t fucking true. It couldn’t be. Dave decided to finish up his conversation with Karkat and ask Bro more about it.

 

CG: WHAT?

CG: LIKE A GHOST?

CG: OR FIGURATIVELY?

TG: go for which ever option you fucking feeling like since youve probably chosen already

CG: YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT I HAVE.

CG: SO ELABORATE

CG: I'LL TAKE OUT MY SHITTY WRITING MATERIALS, SIT YOU DOWN COMFORTABLY

CG: AND ASK "HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?".

TG: woah dont go fucking lalonde on me weve got enough psychoanalysis going on for one rock

CG: MAKE ME.

CG: NOW IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO ELABORATE, THEN I DON'T NEED YOUR BANTER BULLSHIT.

TG: uhuh

CG: OR YOUR SASS.

CG: I COULD LIVE WITHOUT THAT TOO.

TG: haha well i have other much more important things to deal with right now

CG: ANYWAY, SPEAKING OF ROSE, HAVE YOU TALKED TO HER LATELY?

CG: LIKE WHAT?

TG: shit that youd never understand

TG: so ill leave your sorry ass which a few parting words

TG: you ready for this shit?

CG: WHAT

CG: GO FOR IT.

TG: karkat why do you think youre the boss

TG: because as you can see youre at a total loss

CG: NO

CG: STOP

TG: you cant even keep beloved pyrope

CG: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING RHYME

TG: what makes you think you have any hope

CG: SHUT UP

CG: OH MY GOD

CG: STOP THAT.

TG: you shout and shout so aloud

CG: I WILL PUNCH YOU

TG: in order to cast a cowardly shroud

CG: YOU BETTER FUCKING STOP

CG: STOP IT DOUCHE.

TG: thus why my lyrical justice is so mild

TG: no use wasting my sick rhymes

TG: on someone who is so small time

CG: HEY

CG: FUCKWAD

CG: DID YOU JUST CALL ME SMALL?

TG: what?

CG: DO YOU WANT ME TO END YOUR PATHETIC, MISERABLE EXISTENCE?

CG: DO YOU THINK THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS OR SOME SHIT?

CG: I'LL KICK YOUR ASS

TG: haha, you could try but i dont think youd do very well haha

CG: THEN WE'LL SEE WHOSE FUCKING SMALL

CG: WHAT?

CG: FUCK YOU!

CG: I COULD END YOUR LIFE.

CG: I COULD END IT IN SECONDS.

TG: sure you could

CG: SHUT UP!

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY IRONIC?

TG: oh?

CG: IF IN THE END, I TURNED OUT THE BE THE TALLEST AND YOU WERE THE SHORTEST.

CG: HAH.

CG: THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS!

TG: and pointless

TG: height counts for fuck all anyway

CG: THEN STOP MAKING FUN OF MINE.

TG: but why when its so easy to do cause of your complex about it

CG: I DO *NOT* HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT!

TG: yes you do

TG: otherwise you wouldnt have been so rilled up when i called you small

CG: I WAS NOT.

CG: JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT!

TG: you completely were

TG: face the fucking sunshine

TG: and accept it

CG: THAT SHIT IS BLINDING, NO WAY.

TG: haha you dont have to look at the sun just at the sunshine douche

CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVER, I DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO YOU.

TG: yeah you could just leave but youre too stupid to do that haha

TG: anyway im off to attend to that shit i need to do

CG: WOW, ASSHOLE. I AM *NOT* TOO STUPID TO ABSCOND.

CG: FINE, GOOD.

CG: GOOD RIDDANCE, FUCKWAD.

TG: id leave a farewell message but ive done that and anything else i could say wouldnt be able to sum up your stupidity enough

TG: later

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG]

 

He closed the window and quickly looked back over the one with Bro. His body tensioned slightly with fear, partially wanting to just close this conversation now and ask about it when Bro got back but he knew that if he did that, be it true or not Dave would get a true kicking for it.

 

TG: woah, wait shit man

TT: Yes?

TG: you cant be fucking serious

TT: You think I'm that fucking sick and twisted to joke about that?

TG: no, i just hoped that this wasnt the fucking truth

 

No, he thought to himself; he didn’t just hope, he wished it with everything he had he had wished that Bro’s words were all a lie and that at any moment now he say “Naw, I’m just fucking with you.” But all it felt like was as if there was a pit being created in Dave’s stomach.

 

TT: Well it is.

TT: They're putting me in for surgery first thing next week.

TT: Then I'll have months of chemo.

TG: fuck man, will that get it fucking dealt with though?

TG: or will it always be a thing thats fucking here?

TT: The cancer? They're going to remove the infected tissue, hopefully all of it.

TT: And then like I said, chemo, and radiation for a few months after it.

TG: itd better get rid of it, i think id fucking become lost without such a fucking awesome bro and mentor

TT: Yeah, then I should live past the 5 year mark if it's all out, and I've got chemo treatments.

TT: And if I don't relapse.

TG: fuck man, is it fucking curable or is it a permanent thing?

TT: It's possible to cure it.

TT: But it's less likely because they caught it kind of late.

TG: fuck is it not something that would be fucking obvious?

TT: Doesn't have a lot of symptoms until it's late.

TT: To be honest, it isn't a thing that people my age get, so they weren't really thinking of it.

TG: fuck yeah thats true

TG: and youre usually the fucking image of fucking health

TT: Healthy as a horse.

TT: It wasn't stage 4 yet, so it hadn't spread to my other organs.

TT: But my stomach is pretty trashed.

 

“Stage 4?” Dave asked himself aloud, wondering what he meant by that and decided to look it up for himself. He searched for the stages of stomach cancer and quickly found a site ((<http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/type/stomach-cancer/treatment/the-stages-of-stomach-cancer>)):

**Stage 0 or carcinoma in situ (CIS)**

If you are told you have CIS or stage 0 stomach cancer, you have a very early stage of stomach cancer. There are cancer cells in your stomach lining. But they are completely contained within the innermost layer of the lining. So there is very little risk of any cancer cells having spread. It is not usual for stomach cancer to be diagnosed this early.

**Stage 1**

This is the earliest stage of cancer. It is divided into 1a and 1b.

Stage 1a means the cancer has grown no further than the lining of the stomach, with no cancer in the lymph nodes (T1, N0, M0).

Stage 1b means either that

  1. The cancer is still within the stomach lining, but nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T1, N1, M0) **OR**
  2. There are no cancer cells in the lymph nodes, but the cancer has grown into the muscle of the stomach wall (T2, N0, M0)



**Stage 2**

Stage 2 is also divided into a and b

Stage 2a means that 

  1. The cancer is still within the lining of the stomach, but between 3 and 6 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T1, N2, M0) **OR**
  2. The cancer has grown into the muscle layer of the stomach wall and is also in 1 or 2 nearby lymph nodes (T2, N1, M0) **OR**
  3. The cancer has grown into the outer layers of the stomach but there are no cancer cells in the lymph nodes (T3, N0, M0)



Stage 2b means that 

  1. The cancer is within the lining of the stomach wall but 7 or more lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T1, N3, M0) **OR**
  2. The cancer has grown into the muscle layer of the stomach and between 3 and 6 lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T2, N2, M0) **OR**
  3. The cancer has grown into the outer layer of the stomach and is also in 1 or 2 nearby lymph nodes (T3, N1, M0) **OR**
  4. The cancer has grown through the outer lining but there are no cancer cells in nearby lymph nodes (T4a, N0, M0)



**Stage 3**

Stage 3 is divided into a, b and c.

Stage 3a means that the cancer has grown

  1. Into the muscle layer of the stomach and 7 or more nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T2, N3, M0) **OR**
  2. Into the outer lining of the stomach and between 3 and 6 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T3, N2, M0) **OR**
  3. Through the stomach wall and 1 to 2 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T4a, N1, M0)



In stage 3b the cancer has grown

  1. Into the outer lining of the stomach and more than 7 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer cells (T3, N3, M0) **OR**
  2. Right through the stomach wall and between 3 and 6 lymph nodes contain cancer (T4a, N2, M0) **OR**
  3. Right through the stomach wall into nearby tissues and organs, and the nearby lymph nodes may contain cancer (T4b, N0 to 1, M0)



In stage 3c the cancer has 

  1. Grown right through the stomach wall and more than 7 nearby lymph nodes contain cancer (T4a, N3, M0) **OR**
  2. Grown right through the stomach wall into nearby tissues and organs, and the lymph nodes contain cancer (T4b, N2 to 3, M0)



**Stage 4**

This means your cancer is advanced and has spread to body organs further away from the stomach, such as the lungs, brain or bones (any T, any N, M1).

 

“Fuck...” Dave said quietly, his breathing becoming slightly heavier.

 

TG: well thats a sorta sigh of fucking relief needed there

TG: but dont they have like organ donors for that sort of thing then

TT: No, they're just gonna scrape it all off, and then cut part of it out actually.

TT: And gross, can you imagine having someone else's stomach?

TG: well i guess it would be gross but it would work the fucking same

TG: and if it makes a different why would you care if it was gross or not

TT: I'm just saying.

TT: And I don't need a new one, this one should work just fine after the mess around in it.

TG: fair enough just thinking of the possibilities

TT: Sorry for trying to lighten the mood.

 

Lighten the mood...he was trying to lighten the mood? He should be the one sat, god knows where feeling like shit and...well bawling his eyes out however uncool that may be. Dave began to shake, almost lost for words on what to say. He was glad bro couldn’t see him sat there acting so uncool, though he could luckily still type is facade without worry.

 

TG: i know, its just a lot to fucking take in...and, wait how fucking long have you known about it?

TT: They diagnosed me last night.

TG: fuck...im seriously not fucking sure how to react really

 

Dave sat facing his computer screen, for once lost for what to really think or say...this shit was serious and in all honesty he was scared. Not that hed tell bro, but tears welled up in his eyes as be began to cry.

 

TT: I know the feeling.

TT: I'm sorry, Dave.

TG: you dont have to be fucking sorry, your the one thats got fucking cancer

TT: Fine, I just didn't know how to tell you all of this.

TT: So I just sorta dumped it on you.

TG: the manner in which you told me

TT: Yes. I set you on the train tracks.

TT: And let the train hit you.

TG: was as blunt as a spoon bro

TT: I know, I was there.

TT: Blurting shit out, just outta nowhere.

TT: It was a dick move I could have tried to prepare you a little bit or something.

TG: naw, i guess its cool bro id rather know in the fucking bluntest manner and have to face the facts

TT: Alright then, it all worked out.

 

All worked out? Dave read through his tears, his online chilled personality unaffected by how he really felt. He bawled as much as he wanted and as loud as he wanted, fully aware that Bro wasn’t around to hear his uncoolness. He wiped his eyes and looked back at the screen as he cried, knowing that if he faltered online for even a moment the game was up and Bro would know.

 

TG: i guess it did, but man, still dont know what to do or how to react to this really

TT: Well, they're letting me go home until Sunday, actually.

TT: I'm on the bus back.

TT: Back home, that is.

TG: awesome, want anything for when you get back?

TT: Yes, my spot on the futon, and some orange juice.

TG: sure bro, though im not sure how much orange juice weve got, guess ill have to go to the store to get some

TT: Nah, man it's on the way home from the bus stop I can pick some up.

TT: You want anything?

 

Dave paused a moment, a guilty feeling twisted in his stomach as Bro ask what he wanted, he knew what wasn’t in...but he didn’t feel right about Bro going to the shop when he’s not long since found out about such a life changing illness. He shook in anger at himself, and kicked the wall accessible under the desk. The tears still a pair unending waterfalls from his eyes, he removed his shades as they kept getting in the way as he cried.

 

TG: some apple juice would be cool i think were all out on that too

TT: Can do.

TG: thanks bro

TT: No prob. I should be upstairs in like five minutes.

 

“Shit” Dave said as he quickly got to his feet, transferring the conversation from his computer to his iPhone. Grabbing his shades before he crossed the hall to the bathroom.

 

TT: Wait, scratch that.

TT: Elevator is busted still, isn't it?

TT: Make that Eight minutes.

 

Thank god the elevator is always out, more time to calm down and pull himself back into what is normality in the strider household. He placed his iPhone on the back of the sink before holding the edges breathing deeply to try and stop crying.

 

TG: yeah it is, piece of junk it is

TT: Yeah, we should complain to the super.

TT: It's like he doesn't care about the handicapped.

TG: or anyone else for that matter

TT: Yeah, pretty much.

TT: Why do we live on the top floor again?

TG: i dont know, you got the place

TT: Okay, I'm gonna just sit on the stairs for a bit.

TG: man is it really that bad? youre usually up here like lightning

TT: I haven't been able to flash-step properly for months.

TT: I should have known it was something this bad.

TT: Now I can barely walk up 6 flights of stairs before I collapse.

TG: fuck really? you never let on about that

TG: but, bro, you want some help?

TT: Nope. I can do this.

TT: I can walk up some stairs.

TG: ok, just dont go fucking falling down those things

TT: You warned me about those stairs.

TT: Seriously though.

TT: I'm 4 flights below our floor.

TT: So I'm going to take another break.

 

Four floors, Dave thought taking another deep breath, not far off a presentable face. The tears finally came to a stop and he rubbed the clear liquid from his eyes and cheeks. 

 

TG: fair enough, it gotta be said but its weird having you like this

TG: kinda all serious and shit

TG: its not our normal thing

TT: I am so out of shape, it's pathetic.

TT: You could climb more stairs when you were three.

TG: ...you threw me up half of them

TT: You asked me to, frequently.

TT: And you only got hurt once.

TG: what, i dont remember asking you

TT: Yeah, I didn't throw you up more than a few at a time, Dave.

TT: Maybe it seemed longer because you were so damn scrawny.

TT: Also come let me inside.

TG: really, jeez those stairs used to seem so big

TG: sure man, ill be fucking there in a moment

TT: Great. I'll just lean here.


	2. Fragile

Dave dashed out of the bathroom, pocketing his phone as he went to the living room to let his bro in. He opened, the door, a “usual” look on his face. No telltale signs that until just a few moments ago he was crying so much that he felt like his eyes would fall out. Bro stepped inside, carrying a bag of orange juice and apple juice.

“damn you look paler than fucking usual” Dave said as he locked the door again behind his bro.

“Yeah, and I’m gross and sweaty. Just some fucking stairs.”

“man chill, take a fucking shower and go to bed i guess” He said trying to sound authoritative but completely failing at it. He watched Bro, flop onto the couch, a look of worry flashed across his face for a moment before being quickly hidden again.

“Dude, no I’m not that kind of tired.” Dave glanced around, though his shades still watching bro, fucking reflective things made it hard for Bro to be sure of where he was looking.

“just exhausted from the climb?”

“More or less. I don’t want the other symptoms to come back, and I’d rather be awake if they did.” The older brother said holding out a hand containing the younger’s beverage. Dave took the the bottle from his brother whilst giving him a questioning look.

“the other symptoms?”

“Yep,” came the answer as Bro raised a bottle of his orange juice to his lips, “Did you want me to tell you them, so you’re not freaked if they happen?” Dave stood in silence as he considered what he’d be just about to learn if he say yes.

“...yeah probably for the best” he said with a little hesitation. “i dont want to be caught fucking unprepared by them”

“Chances are I will wake up in the middle of the night, and go puke my brains out. I barely eat. Sometimes my abdomen hurts suddenly, and I can’t do anything with out making it worse.”

“fuck...these symptoms sound like a bundle of fun...” Dave said bluntly an air of irony around his words. He unscrewed the cap of the apple juice, quickly giving it a quick cautious glance, egbert’s words coming back to his mind once again at the worst moment, before drinking some. “i guess this means no strifes till youre better?”

“Yeah, you can fight me when I can actually beat you ass. Exactly.”

“its not fucking cool to take fucking advantage of you when your like this”

“Dude, I’m going to get some sick scars from this though.”

“fuck really, how sick?”

“Like I lost a fight with Batman sick.”

“fuck that is sick as shit”

“I know right.” The two paused, an awkward silence filled the air, Dave unsure of what to do or say and Bro, knowing that there was certain facts that he needed to address with his li’l bro. “Okay,” he began with a sigh. “So, there may be a chance that I don’t make it thought the surgery...”

“...how big is this chance?” Dave asked, slightly uneasy on what the answer could be.

“Big enough that they had to tell me about it , but not most likely.” The response cut deep into Dave’s mind and worry poured out spreading throughout his body like a poison trying to destroy his facade, but his game face held like a stone. “And if that happens, or if I die before your eighteenth birthday, you’re going to live with Roxy, and Rose. I went through all the paperwork to make sure that happened, and you weren’t tossed in some foster home.”

“god, bro youve only known for like a few hours and youve got this all planned out havent you?”

“I’m prepared, and I over think things.” He spoke as if he were mulling the words over in his mind, either that or he was thinking about something else. “Maybe for once itll do someone some good.”

“...i dont really want to think what happens if the surgery screws up, to be honest...but yeah i guess it could, but i fucking hope all the paperwork was for nothing”

“I do, too, I want to see you finish growing up.” He paused, to Dave it felt like more than just a pause, it felt like minutes; ‘minutes’ in which to Dave it felt like Bro could be more than just struggling walking up stairs but with talking for a long time. The poison thoughts of worry, grew greater and Dave’s eyes began to shoot around looking for any signs that his brother my help him and finally the silence was broken and he sounded mostly fine. “I was just...Just letting you know that’s that the plan was just in case.”

“sure...fuck, even if you die after my eighteenth birthday thats too fucking soon” Dave sighed. Bro ran a hand through his hair, and rubs the back of his neck, giving Dave a solemn glance.

“I know, I’m only seventeen years older that you, y’know. Barely old enough to be considered someone old enough to be your guardian.”

“but you fucking managed with all the shit as a proper guardian, no, even better, ...as a bro.” He paused, trying not to sound as if he was rambling on or think to much about what the end of this could all be. He looked at the ground slightly, tis time his head tiling downwards; trying to keep a straight face and not loose his cool as he felt the tears beginning to return.

“Thanks for thinking so. I was marginally worried you resented me for not acting conventionally. I am glad that I got to raise you, though. And I’m looking forward to finishing it.”

“naw, its cool, it was more relaxed than other people families from what ive seen and when we talked it could be about anything from advice to just whatever random shit was on our minds” He continued to look at the floor as he spoke, and was glad that he had his shades on to hide is eyes as the tears forced themselves out, welling up in his eyes; he began to shake a little. Bro looked over at Dave and smiled sadly, watching him shake.

“Yeah, I was just a kid for the most part, too. We were more like like friends or roommates than kind and guardian.”

“haha, yeah it was cooler but just as stressful since i kept trying to beat you and always fucking lost”

“You’ll beat me one dat, li’l dude. When I’m better.”

“haha in my dreams, or if im lucky, once you’re better youll just keep getting better”

“You’ll catch up.” He chuckled.

“you bet i will, ill do my best to close the difference in out skills whilst youre recovering so that when youre better you can have a real challenge” Bro smiled at his li’l bro’s ambition.

“I know you will. Don’t be afraid to kick my ass once I’m up, and running around again.”

“im holding you to that, so youd better fucking get better”

“It’s gonna get worse before it’s over.” Dave looks up at Bro again and tries to smile slightly but it just looks like a cross between being a awkward smile and a uncomfortable smile.

“i know bro, but as long as you get better in the end that enough” Dave turns away and puts the apple juice on the table before wiping his eyes, under his shades, with the back of his hand. Bro stood up and walked over to his brother and puts and arm around Dave’s shoulders, wordlessly.

“It’ll be okay.” Dave tensed up and tried to hide his face, knocking his shades off his face, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy from obviously crying. Dave felt so stupid, embarrassed even, that his bro had just seen him act and look so uncool. He decided to act as if bro hadn’t seen that as he looked away from him. Bro had caught Dave’s shades and set them on the table before moving to take his own off.

“i...i hope so” Bro placed his own shades on the table along side those of his little brother, Dave looked up at his brother as he placed his shades down, he eyes were also red-rimmed.

“And you’re going to be okay either way. I promise you that.”

“yeah...i guess, but that wont stop me feeling lost...” Dave paused for a moment in thought and then held back most of an embarrassed laugh and sadly smiled. “what a pair we are...we talk cool and shit but when shit like this happens we totally lose it

“I know. We’re disgracing the family name. I won’t tell any one if you don’t bro.”

“deal, no one but us has to know...hah who am i kidding, ill probably end up blabbing it all to john...fuck maybe even rose if i think her psychoanalysis stuff will help...” Dave rubbed his eyes again, trying to get rid of the tears.

“Maybe that’ll be good for you, then. I mean, I guess I already called Roxy to be sure that she’d be cool with you living there if I kick the bucket.” Bro paused for a slight moment. “There might have been tears.” He paused again. “Most of them were from her, though.” He finished almost claiming back the cool that he’d shown that he’d lost with his response.

“through her drunken words i guess? or did she instantly sober up when you told her?”

“She was actually hungover, and very angry at me for calling her. Until, I explained myself, the it got better.” 

“i thought she was always drunk...i kind of imagined her to be able to drink in her sleep too...”

“Rose’s tales are not all the they seem. Though, admittedly she is drunk frequently.”

“heh, which is close enough.”

“I guess I was just lucky I called so early.”

“more than likely, otherwise she would have reacted differently for one and two you probably wouldnt be able to understand her...though i think the crying did that job anyway...” Dave give up the attempt at being cool now that the games already up, he turns and hugs Bro in a tight hug, gripping his shirt and no longer caring about trying to stifle the tears anymore as he began to sob into his brothers chest. Bro, rested his chin on top of Dave’s head; he rubs Dave’s back with one hand, and the other is brushing though his hair carefully.

“Just let it out, kiddo.”

“i...im s...scared, bro” Dave spoke slowly through his sobs, his trembling body and rapid breaths making him have to repeat cut off words. “...i dont wan...wanna lose you...”

“I think you are, I don’t want to lose you either. I don’t want to leave you alone. So I’m not going to just yet. Alright? I’ll be ok.” He paused to sigh. “We’ll be okay.” Dave slowly and shakily nods his head.

“i...i really hope s...so...” Bro wipes his face against Dave’s hair, getting his tears off his face.

“I know.”

There was a moment where the two brothers remained silent, trying to regain their composure but neither of them wanting or making the attempt to move. Dave gripped Bro’s shirt tighter.

“...b...bro...if...you do...die...i really do...dont know what id do with m....myself...” Dave said through quick breaths, never wanting to let go.

“You’d make it, bud. You’re strong, and you’ve got more people backing you than just me.”

“y...yeah...i just wi...wish there was something i cou...could do...to help you”

“You’re doing everything you can li’l man. I’m proud of you.”

“hah,” Dave sneered, “crying into your chest is really a...all i can do for you, thats pretty damn pathetic and is gonna make th...this really depressing...”

“Pfft. As long as you’re there, I don’t care what’s happening to me, be that the chemo that’s going to make me lose my fucking awesome hair. Dudu, I swear that’ll be the thing I cry over. We’ll need to have a funeral for my hair...But at least we wont need to have one for me, then.” Dave smiled and laughed a little, loosening his grip on his brother’s shirt.

“where will we bury it? its not like we have a year to put it in”

“Oh, shit you’re right.” Bro smiled and laughed with his younger brother. “I don’t know then. It’ll just have a goldfish death in the toilet most likely.”

“heh, just fucking cremate it or something, then keep the ashes as a reminder or some stupid shit like that”

“There is always that, too. Lucky I wear a hat all the time.”

“heh, you could also get a wig and make it look like your hair”

“Nah, I’d rather not do that. Rather not try to hide behind it.”

“Fair enough bro.” Dave said slightly smiling again. Again the two stood in silence for a moment or two, them both knowing perfectly well that they had been stood like that for good well long enough, again neither of them having the heart to pull away from the other, till the silence was broken again by the younger brother. “...bro?”

“Yeah?”

“...till youre better...can we just hang out more?” Dave gips Bros shirt a little tighter. “...like...ill stop hiding out in my room so much...we can play games...watch shitty movies and shitty tv shows...all that crap...” Bro smiled softly and nods. 

“I’d like that, Dave. I am going to be in, and out of the hospital, though. But when I’m here we can hang out for sure.”

“...g...good, its ju...just that i should probably act like things are normal...but theyre not...and i dont want to waste whatever little time i may have left to spend with you...” Dave spoke, his breathing becoming quicker again as his shoulders began to quiver again, tear welling up again, even though he didn’t want to cry, it wasn’t fair, it should be the other way round, Bro’s the one that’s sick not Dave. But there he stood, unable to stop himself from crying and his bro was the one comforting him, talk about quick to come to terms with things...that or he was hiding the rest of his tears for when he was alone.

“I love you, bro. And yo-” Bro’s words cut off as he pulled away from Dave to press a hand against hid abdomen, and let out a low hiss, waiting for the pain to pass as his back went rigid. Fuck this was the worst timing, Dave had just started crying again and he couldn’t shoosh him without screaming, Bro thought to himself. Dave half lowered his arms, still crying; his eyes widen, a look of shock forming on his face, as he sees his brother in pain...frozen to the spot with no idea what to do. His watery eyes looked up and down his older brother and a few times to areas around the room, he breathing picking up pace even more and he begins to panic. 

“w-bo-what do i do?” He said the panic in his voice as clear as day. Bro squeezed his eyes shit, and grit his teeth, taking a few shallow breaths as he tried to calm down. It sparked a pain that went all the way through him, and he actually let out a pained sob. Very soon after it, the pain lessened, and his shoulders relaxed as he leaned back in the the cushions of the couch. “...S...Sorry ‘bout that.”

Dave looked his brother with a look of terror from worry and feeling so helpless. How he wished all the more that he could do something.  
“fuck” He muttered as he closed his eyes and bit his lower, trembling, lip, shaking his head slightly and gripping his fists tightly. “do..dont fuc...fucking scare me...like that” He cried.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He pulled Dave into another tight hug. “I can’t control it, I’m so sorry.”

“...i...i know, it just scared me...i...felt so useless...” he said, is eyes moving blankly to look at the floor. Just all round not sure how to react or what to say anymore.

“There is nothing anyone can do for those, bro. Not even the doctors. They only go away then the cancer is gone.”

“s...so...what am i meant to do?...pre...pretend theyre not fucking happening?” He said, a spark of anger sliding into his tone of voice. He wasn’t angry with Bro, he was angry with himself for being so helpless and with the doctors that could do fuck all to help him with all their fancy science, it was all fucking useless shit.

“I don’t know. I’ll try to hide them better.”

“...hide them? for one how are you meant to hide that, and two...i...i dont care, if you fucking have to scream from the pain...i just...fuck, i dunno...” His chain of thought lost as his mind leapt around with everything it had learnt today.

“I’ve hidden them this long.” He shrugged looking away, he didn’t like watching his brother go through that, himself going through it was bad enough. 

“you...w-what?” Dave tried to start speaking but no chain of thought came. He took his fist and began to gently pound it off of his brothers chest as something to say finally formed in his mind. “why didnt you say something sooner?” He said shakily with exasperation as he tried to refrain from crying yet again.

“I didn’t want to scare you...” Bro’s brow furrowed, and he frowned at his brother.

“...you should have known id find out sooner or later...” Dave continued his relentless gentle pounding of his brother; he would hit harder but he was so afraid of hurting him in his fragile state, scared that one real hit would cause him more pain like he’d just been in moments before, his head facing the floor, his eyes still wide from fear. Bro sighed and caught Dave’s hands, and placed them in the younger Strider’s lap.

“Dave, I only wanted the best for you. I needed to be sure of what I had before I told you, and be sure that is wasn’t contagious. I’m sorry for avoiding you, but I couldn’t bear having to see you go through that pain.

Dave looked up as his hands were moved, he looked up at hs brother that terrified look still in his eyes before he looked back down feeling somewhat guilty. He could feel his heart strings being pulled, he was kinda happy that his bro was just thinking of his well being all this time.

“...cancer can be hereditary...” He mumbled spitefully under his breath, like a petulant child, although he hoped it wasn’t true in this case. Cancer having the chance to take one of them was enough and not something Bro needed right now. “...whatever, ...i dont care...you could still have mentioned it earlier...” Dave appeared to go into a huff as he said this and turned his face away from Bro who sighed and laughed slightly at his brothers stubbornness.

The silence returned to the room once again, Dave stopped acting childish and looked around the room for a few moments before looking back at Bro; he opened his mouth, about to speak, before hesitating and closing it again. He waited a few moments and then decided to try to say again what he wanted to ask.

“bro?” He asked quietly, his voice almost a whisper as he gazed straight ahead across the room. Gripping he fists tightly in his lap.

“Yeah?” Bro said looking down at him.

“...why you?”


End file.
